Kamui vs Fuuma on JERRY SPRINGER!
by Artemis Fraser
Summary: I only did PG for the swearing cuz my friend made me. Sniff. Well, anywho. Read and find out what it's about. R&R! plz.


Disclaimer: I don't own X/1999. Or Jerry Springer. ((AN: This is my blurb about this movie, and my confusion with it. If I get anything wrong, I DON'T CARE.))  
  
Jerry: Welcome to my show! The bestest in the world!!!  
  
Audience: Whoo!!! Go Jerry!!! Yeah!!!  
  
Jerry: Yeah, yeah, I know, ::bleep::. You're all my little ::Bleep::::Bleep::. I own the world, god ::bleep:: Everybody loves the J- man!!!!  
  
Audience: .............. (china's population)  
  
Jerry: Today's topic... Well, it's nothing, because our writer was brutally bludgeoned with a happy mask in a movie.  
  
Audience: *sweatdrop*  
  
Jerry: Welcome, Kamui and Fuuma!!!!!!  
  
Kamui and Fuuma walk on the stage. Kamui is in the process of crying pathetically while Fuuma is enraged. Blood is rising.  
  
Fuuma: You mother ::bleep:: What the hell do you ::bleep:: think this is?! How dare you ::bleep:: bring me to this ::bleep: stage!!! Where's my ::bleep:: sword?!?! God ::bleep:: ::bleep::!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kamui: *blubbering* Stop swearing!!! This is madness! Madness I tell you!!! I never wanted to fight you!!! *blows nose* You killed Kotori to get your sword!!!!! *sobbing harder* How could you, Fuuma?!!? How?!?!?!  
  
Fuuma: Shut up, you ignorant fool!!!! My destiny was to become the ::bleep:: opposite of you!!! You shut the ::bleep:: up!!!  
  
Kamui: But, Fuuma!!! You're not the opposite of me!!! You're Fuuma!!! Remember that!!  
  
Fuuma: Noooo!!!!!! You shut the ::bleep:: up, you conniving little ::bleep:: how dare you question my ::bleep:: authority, you ::bleep:: ::bleep:: ::bleep:: ::bleep:: ::bleep:: ::bleep:: ::bleep:: ::bleep:: god ::bleep:: what the ::bleep:: I hate it when you ::bleep:: do that!!!! Stop ::bleep:: crying, you little ::bleep::!!!!!  
  
Kamui: *stops crying* You little ::bleep::head!!!! Why must you think that you can yell at me, you little ::bleep::. You think I'm ::bleep:: scared of you?! I'm not. I'm the one who has the ::bleep:: capability to ::bleep:: KILL you!!!!!  
  
Fuuma: O.o  
  
Audience: O.O  
  
One man from audience: Uhh.... Can I leave??  
  
Jerry: No!!!! You cannot leave the bestest show in the world!!! How dare you ::bleep:: ask to leave!!!! *rants* Argh!!! Steve!!!!!!!!!  
  
Steve: *looks up from eating his chicken* huh??? What?  
  
Jerry: *points* Go kill him!!! We don't need him in here!!!!! He spoils our show!!!!!!  
  
Another man in the audience: Then... wouldn't it be better if he just left??  
  
Jerry: *twitch* YOU CAN DIE TOO!!!!!!!!!  
  
Same man: What??? What'd I say?!??!  
  
Steve: *shrugs* So I'm not killing him right??  
  
Fuuma: Hey!!! Since when did this become a ::bleep:: soap opera for Jerry's world here?! That's what PBS is for!!!! ::bleep:: god ::bleep:: what the ::bleep::!!!!  
  
Kamui: ::bleep:: STOP SWEARING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Small explosion. A scream of agony and pain from the... now dead cameraman. One of the views fizzes out of view.  
  
Jerry: *clears throat* so we've lost one of our cameramen...it's very sad. Actually, it's not. He deserved to die. ... ::bleep:: bastard.  
  
Fuuma: You idiot. You didn't put it a gay mofo ::bleep:: power shield up.  
  
Kamui: *drops to his knees* NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sobs* OMG!!!!! I've endangered Tokyo!!! Again!!!!  
  
Jerry: .... what do you mean, again?  
  
Fuuma: *snorts with laughter*  
  
Kamui: *face is blurred out and voice is changed* It all started when there was a blue-light special at K-Mart and I really wanted the little stuffed Pikachu animal. *sniff* This little girl on crutches wanted it, but I did!!!! I WANTED IT!!!!!!! I WAS THE ONE WHO FIRST SAW IT ON THE MAGAZINE THAT I STOLE FROM A HOBO!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cameras start to shake.  
  
Cameraman #2: Mommy.....  
  
Jerry: Uh.. can you calm down? *sweatdrop*  
  
Kamui: *clears throat* yeah... So anyway, I had a powershield set up-  
  
Fuuma: Of course you did you ::bleep:: gaywad. *smirk*  
  
Kamui: *glare* --and... and I attacked her!!!!!! I ripped her arm off, the one that was reaching for the last Pikachu. It was calling me, all those blue swirling lights, illuminating the Pikachu, I couldn't resist! I don't know what came over me! But I attacked her. After ripping her arm off, I grabbed her crutches and chucked it at her cuz she started crying, and then sh-  
  
Jerry: Okay, then!!!!! We're going to a break folks! We'll get to the heart of the problem after these messages!!!!!  
  
AN: Wait!!! I have a reason for writing this ::bleep:: thing! It was after I saw the ::bleep:: movie X/1999, it was so confusing!!! I was the fourth time I saw the ::bleep:: thing, and I still didn't get it!!! What could I do? I was just so ::bleep:: confused!! So, I wrote about it. That's right!!!!! *rages*  
  
Jerry: Hey! Sit your ::bleep:: down! You'll get your ::bleep:: turn later, all right you ::bleep:: ::bleep:: ::bleep:: ::bleep::?!?!?!  
  
AN: WHAT?!?!?!? I started this by myself!!!!! I can just delete you, you little ::bleep:: ::bleep:: ::bleep:: ::bleep:: ::bleep:: ::bleep::!!!!! Don't you ever think of saying that kinda ::bleep:: at me EVER!~~~~  
  
Small explosion.  
  
AN: O.O ..... Now we're done. 


End file.
